que tenes 31 años y en serio, seguis siendo el MISMO pelotudo de siempre.
10.26.2018
10.22.2018
que te pasa pelotudo?
Si, que te pasa?
Vos no sos asi.
Que te pasa?
Me podes explicar?
Bueno, tal vez, si sos asi.
Pero podrias ser mejor, no?
Que te pasa pelotudo?
No le podes sacar los ojos de encima?
Que te pasa, GIL.
No te alcanza lo que ya tenes?
Que te pasa?, te trato como el orto, porque sos un pelotudo.
Que te pasa?
Me podes decir?
Habla, pelotudo, habla.
Dejate de joder,
dejate de dar vueltas
deja de ser asi
por favor.
Ya no tenes 15 años, pelotudo.
Ya no sos esa persona que eras hace mas de la mitad de tu vida.
Ya no sos.
Y si lo sos, no aprendiste nada.
Sos un reverendo pelotudo.
Y creo que me odio a mi mismo.
Vos no sos asi.
Que te pasa?
Me podes explicar?
Bueno, tal vez, si sos asi.
Pero podrias ser mejor, no?
Que te pasa pelotudo?
No le podes sacar los ojos de encima?
Que te pasa, GIL.
No te alcanza lo que ya tenes?
Que te pasa?, te trato como el orto, porque sos un pelotudo.
Que te pasa?
Me podes decir?
Habla, pelotudo, habla.
Dejate de joder,
dejate de dar vueltas
deja de ser asi
por favor.
Ya no tenes 15 años, pelotudo.
Ya no sos esa persona que eras hace mas de la mitad de tu vida.
Ya no sos.
Y si lo sos, no aprendiste nada.
Sos un reverendo pelotudo.
Y creo que me odio a mi mismo.
10.20.2018
10.06.2018
10.05.2018
otro mas
porque no puedo parar de maquinarme
estoy hecho un idiota
tanta angustia junta
la puta madre
estoy hecho un idiota
tanta angustia junta
la puta madre
Como si tuviese 15
asi me haces sentir
no se que hacer
no se que pensar
no se como manejarme
me siento un tarado mental
no se que hacer
no se que pensar
no se como manejarme
me siento un tarado mental
2.15.2018
2.08.2018
Weekly update 1/2
Pero ves como todos alrededor tuyo estan mejor.
Sus proyectos funcionan.
Y vos ahi, esperando.
2.07.2018
Travel is Freedom.
Quisiera perderme en las montañas.
Quisiera comprarme una mochila, poner todo lo que necesito ahi, y salir de aventuras por la naturaleza.
Quisiera escalar montañas, aprender a hacer fogatas, cazar mi propia comida.
Tengo una fantasia enorme con reconectarme con lo mas primitivo de mi ser.
Pero despues me acuerdo que necesito un videt para limpiarme el orto y me olvido
Quisiera comprarme una mochila, poner todo lo que necesito ahi, y salir de aventuras por la naturaleza.
Quisiera escalar montañas, aprender a hacer fogatas, cazar mi propia comida.
Tengo una fantasia enorme con reconectarme con lo mas primitivo de mi ser.
Pero despues me acuerdo que necesito un videt para limpiarme el orto y me olvido
2.06.2018
The note
The next morning I woke up as early as I could for the road waits for no one.
She was still sleeping.
I thought about it but i couldn't bare myself to wake her up.
Not for a stupid goodbye.
Things when traveling are like that and we both knew it.
Only brought myself to write some lines in a stupid postcard.
It felt right at the moment.
--
It was sunny and humid.
We lived all our lives without knowing each other, dreaming about it, as satellites pass through each other paths.
Life still goes on. -
This kind of thing happens once or twice in a lifetime. I know, for I've never felt this away again in my life.
And with a smile in my face I rode into my next train. - I was leaving the crimsons sea she stared the night before. As the sun lit the horizon and new adventures await the lonesome hearts.
- And I do understand now. I understand everything. -
The end.
2.05.2018
Into thin air
[Esta historia va traducida porque paso en otro idioma con lo bueno y lo malo de mis errores gramaticales]
We were all wet and lost. (emotionally and geographically, or is it all the same anyways?)
Had the city grew bigger as we got to knew each other?, or had this familiarity, this endless feeling that skewed us from the right path made us feel forever lost.
She was always laughing.
Then she said something. "I can't stand your sad face anymore".
We both laugh this time.
----
We were heading back to the B&B. We both knew our "togetherness" was coming to an end. (Emotionally, and geographically, or is it the same anyways?)
She grabbed my hand. - Goosebumps -
I had this feeling before, maybe in another life, but I knew her somehow.
- I don't want this to end - She said. (Was she crying? Was the rain washing it all away?).
The gap between our faces started decreasing. She was getting closer, but not willing to make the decision.
Her lips were red, her eyes were closed, her hair all wet.
She was waiting. - And I closed my eyes - and without guilt I watched the purple sky upon us -
The rain stoped. We still gazed into each other eyes - With a mix of happiness and regret -. But intentions were different now.
I pulled away my face, with the strong conviction I did right. (It was too late anyway).
I will never forget the sad look on her face
As we went inside the B&b, she stoped me. And hugged me.
I have never in my life felt that lonely again. It was crushing.
2.04.2018
#Forever
[Esta historia va traducida porque paso en otro idioma con lo bueno y lo malo de mis errores gramaticales]
We were sitting at beach, waiting for the sunrise.
She was talking about the future, the uncertainties, how she feared boredom of becoming older and everyday routine.
I needed to say something. -
Before I could even say a word. She said "I know".
She was still staring at the crimson sea.
- I didn't understood at the moment. -
Suddenly it started pouring.
A crude remainder from the world that adventurers sometimes need to seek shelter.
As bodies get wet and cleansed. Emotions, like melancholy and sadness are like morning dew, and only get stronger in the amidst of the storm.
Only then, we ran away from sunrise into the darkness of the city.
[Cont'd]
We were sitting at beach, waiting for the sunrise.
She was talking about the future, the uncertainties, how she feared boredom of becoming older and everyday routine.
I needed to say something. -
Before I could even say a word. She said "I know".
She was still staring at the crimson sea.
- I didn't understood at the moment. -
Suddenly it started pouring.
A crude remainder from the world that adventurers sometimes need to seek shelter.
As bodies get wet and cleansed. Emotions, like melancholy and sadness are like morning dew, and only get stronger in the amidst of the storm.
Only then, we ran away from sunrise into the darkness of the city.
[Cont'd]
2.03.2018
The little moments [contd']
[Esta historia va traducida porque paso en otro idioma con lo bueno y lo malo de mis errores gramaticales]
We were drunk, and running through the small alleys of the town.
Her cheeks were red for all the wine we had.
I don't think she knew at that point how much infatuated i was. But maybe she felt the same way.
I liked our uncomfortable silences. They were thoughtful moments. And I took it all in.
We talked a lot, she laughed a lot, I gazed a lot. I was smitten.
We were connecting.
We were both leaving the next day and we really wanted to make it a night to remember.
But then it hit me, it hit me like a speeding train going through a tunnel.
She was engaged to some stupid doctor in stupid Germany.
Suddenly, I wanted to have my own bedroom at the B&B, and wallow in my misery.
Our uncomfortable silences, became echo, and wind against our faces.
[To be continued]
We were drunk, and running through the small alleys of the town.
Her cheeks were red for all the wine we had.
I don't think she knew at that point how much infatuated i was. But maybe she felt the same way.
I liked our uncomfortable silences. They were thoughtful moments. And I took it all in.
We talked a lot, she laughed a lot, I gazed a lot. I was smitten.
We were connecting.
We were both leaving the next day and we really wanted to make it a night to remember.
But then it hit me, it hit me like a speeding train going through a tunnel.
She was engaged to some stupid doctor in stupid Germany.
Suddenly, I wanted to have my own bedroom at the B&B, and wallow in my misery.
Our uncomfortable silences, became echo, and wind against our faces.
[To be continued]
2.02.2018
On tour
[Esta historia va traducida porque paso en otro idioma con lo bueno y lo malo de mis errores gramaticales]
- I was traveling alone through the north of france. With nothing in my mind more than photography, and uncertainty for the future. (Artist delight).
So, as a technical stop I decided to spend the night in a super cute countryside b&b, for some reason I can't recall the place was cramped, the old lady who owned the place told me the village wasn't used to hosting this many people but there was a huge event going on nearby and they were sold out. She told me I wasn't gonna be able to find anywhere to spend the night, and offer me to keep my bags while i slept at the reception of the place. Running out of options i said thanks.
While I was at the recepcion minding my own business trying not to listening to some guy playing the guitar, she said: "He sucks"
I wasn't paying attention but replied yeah.
She told me she felt stranded in that little town, and was super bored.
At that moment I looked at her, the silence took forever.
I felt in love instantly, it was real, it was pure. And it was complicated, like those stupid facebook status people used to call attention upon themselves.
When you are traveling you meet people and if you are lucky they stamp their essence on you for your whole life.
[To be continued]
- I was traveling alone through the north of france. With nothing in my mind more than photography, and uncertainty for the future. (Artist delight).
So, as a technical stop I decided to spend the night in a super cute countryside b&b, for some reason I can't recall the place was cramped, the old lady who owned the place told me the village wasn't used to hosting this many people but there was a huge event going on nearby and they were sold out. She told me I wasn't gonna be able to find anywhere to spend the night, and offer me to keep my bags while i slept at the reception of the place. Running out of options i said thanks.
While I was at the recepcion minding my own business trying not to listening to some guy playing the guitar, she said: "He sucks"
I wasn't paying attention but replied yeah.
She told me she felt stranded in that little town, and was super bored.
At that moment I looked at her, the silence took forever.
I felt in love instantly, it was real, it was pure. And it was complicated, like those stupid facebook status people used to call attention upon themselves.
When you are traveling you meet people and if you are lucky they stamp their essence on you for your whole life.
[To be continued]
2.01.2018
Love Stories Sucks.
1/3: 2 semanas antes de nuestro primer viaje juntos me mando un sms. No necesite terminar de leerlo para entender lo que estaba pasando.
2/3: Parte de mi esperaba que ella apareciera en el aeropuerto, parte de mi queria que el avion se caiga, y parte de mi queria llegar a destino. (Cualquier destino).
3/3: Pasaron un par de meses. No crei que me iba a desenamorar tan rapido. Dicen que un clavo saca a otro clavo. Hoy estoy enamorado de una ciudad.
2/3: Parte de mi esperaba que ella apareciera en el aeropuerto, parte de mi queria que el avion se caiga, y parte de mi queria llegar a destino. (Cualquier destino).
3/3: Pasaron un par de meses. No crei que me iba a desenamorar tan rapido. Dicen que un clavo saca a otro clavo. Hoy estoy enamorado de una ciudad.
1.31.2018
Saudade 22
ya se fue el primer mes del año. Parece mentira pero se fue volando.
Ultimamente no se que me pasa, paso de A hasta J, y vuelvo para -F.
Muchos pensamientos que no tienen sentido, que van, y se chocan contra la nada misma.
A veces estoy llorando, sin motivos.
Como hoy mientras caminaba por la calle. Puede ser que sea la luna llena roja, azul, pasa una vez cada 150 años, pero yo lloro mas seguido.
Trato de encontrarle sentido, pero el sentido es aburrido, todo cambia todo el tiempo.
Yo cambie hace mucho. Creo que mas que cambiarme me perdi.
Lo bueno, es que cuando te perdes te podes encontrar, tal vez toma mas tiempo, pero sabes que siempre hay chances.
Cuando cambias, cambias y cambiaste, cuando te das cuenta ya es muy tarde, o el daño ya esta hecho.
Yo cambie para mal. O me perdi para encontrarme.
Bueno, al final son puntos de vista.
Necesito volver a conectarme con lo que fui, pero desde el punto de vista de lo que soy.
En realidad, lo que necesito es volver a escribir.
Por eso mi objetivo es tratar de escribir todos los dias aunque no pase nada interesante.
La mayoria de los dias no pasa nada interesante.
Pero este, va a ser un año raro, de despedidas, de partidas, y eso me pone triste.
No se si me estoy arrepintiendo de algo que no paso. O todo esto es parte de un proceso..
El proceso normal. Pero lo importante es el primer paso. La suerte, es que la habilidad para plasmar no la perdi. Escribir es como andar en bicicleta, caerme no me voy a caer. Pero no vaya a ser cosa que me aplaste el 55
.
Ultimamente no se que me pasa, paso de A hasta J, y vuelvo para -F.
Muchos pensamientos que no tienen sentido, que van, y se chocan contra la nada misma.
A veces estoy llorando, sin motivos.
Como hoy mientras caminaba por la calle. Puede ser que sea la luna llena roja, azul, pasa una vez cada 150 años, pero yo lloro mas seguido.
Trato de encontrarle sentido, pero el sentido es aburrido, todo cambia todo el tiempo.
Yo cambie hace mucho. Creo que mas que cambiarme me perdi.
Lo bueno, es que cuando te perdes te podes encontrar, tal vez toma mas tiempo, pero sabes que siempre hay chances.
Cuando cambias, cambias y cambiaste, cuando te das cuenta ya es muy tarde, o el daño ya esta hecho.
Yo cambie para mal. O me perdi para encontrarme.
Bueno, al final son puntos de vista.
Necesito volver a conectarme con lo que fui, pero desde el punto de vista de lo que soy.
En realidad, lo que necesito es volver a escribir.
Por eso mi objetivo es tratar de escribir todos los dias aunque no pase nada interesante.
La mayoria de los dias no pasa nada interesante.
Pero este, va a ser un año raro, de despedidas, de partidas, y eso me pone triste.
No se si me estoy arrepintiendo de algo que no paso. O todo esto es parte de un proceso..
El proceso normal. Pero lo importante es el primer paso. La suerte, es que la habilidad para plasmar no la perdi. Escribir es como andar en bicicleta, caerme no me voy a caer. Pero no vaya a ser cosa que me aplaste el 55
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